INTERWEB (RPT) - Academic cryptocurrencies, including CollegeCoin, UniCash and TenureToken, have plummeted as investors have been questioning the underlying value of college education and the academic enterprise as a whole. When CollegeCoin first made its debut, it was an affordable option for...

DENVER (RPT) - Graduate advisors recalled over 700,000 pounds of shitty career advice after complaints from graduate students that the advice contained “extraneous materials.” The reported extraneous materials found in graduate advisors’ career advice include wardrobe-related comments, chunks of...

CAMBRIDGE (RPT) – A new study has found that a growing number of scientists are relying on preprint servers, such as medRxiv and bioRxiv to disseminate their research, and that the papers being published are “not as good as peer reviewed papers” that are published in traditional academic journals...

NEW YORK (RPT) – As pharmaceutical companies prepare to release vaccines against SARS-CoV-2, they have met resistance from some university professors who are anxious - not about the science behind the vaccines - but rather about how the rollout of the vaccine will affect their newly established...

LOS ANGELES (RPT) - Professors and university administrators have been constructing a wall around academia to keep lecturers, highly skilled postdocs and adjunct faculty out of the inner sanctum of academia. However, according to whistle-blowers, they are employing lecturers, postdocs and...

LOS ANGELES (RPT)- With election results trickling in over the last several days, professors have become increasingly focused on clicking refresh on the many tabs they are using to monitoring election results. “By the time you read the update on CNN, it’s almost certain NYTimes or FiveThirtyEight...

AUSTIN (RPT) - Despite recent criticisms of the peer review process, a new study has found that the act of reviewing papers provides significant psychological benefits for professors. “Many people think it’s a drag to be a reviewer for a journal, but it turns out that it’s actually...

NEW YORK (RPT) - After several confusing weeks, schools around the country are now decisively opening for in-person online remote instruction. “This has been a chaotic and confusing time for all of us, and it is important now for students, parents and teachers to have clarity about the way...

BOSTON (RPT) - With the launch of the new federal agency, the National Institute of Magical Solutions (NIMS), scholars at universities around the country are being encouraged to alter their research programs to be consistent with the mission of the newly funded NIMS. This new federal body was...

NEW YORK (RPT) - Yesterday, a group of university students published an open letter canceling a group of public intellectuals who wrote a letter earlier this week proposing to cancel ‘cancel culture.’ “We simply object to people not liking unpopular ideas,” says the earlier letter - signed by a...

ATLANTA (RPT) - Grappling with challenges in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, several universities have informed professors that they are no longer allowed to have children while being professors. “It’s become clear to us that it’s just not viable for professors to have children,” one...

PALO ALTO (RPT) - As major disruptions from the COVID-19 pandemic - including decreased enrollments, challenges to university infrastructure and shrinking endowments - shake universities across the country, some universities have sought new leadership. This week, a prestigious US University...

CHICAGO (RPT) – A group of the world’s leading psychologists are planning an in-person conference to discuss strategies for promoting social distancing during the COVID19 pandemic. “Everybody knows that all of the world’s biggest problems are solved at academic conferences,” the chair of the...

CAMBRIDGE, MA (RPT) - In response to the growing peer review crisis, editors of academic journals have begun returning to what is called the ‘carrier pigeon model’ for peer review. “Peer review worked back when carrier pigeons were the main way we got manuscripts from authors and then sent them...

SALT LAKE CITY (RPT) - An Anthropology professor who studies the phenomenon of sympathetic pregnancy has reported that he has symptoms consistent with a diagnosis of COUVADE-19, including weight gain, food cravings, mood swings and reduced libido. “Ever since my wife got pregnant in late 2019, I...

LOS ANGELES (RPT) – With the majority population in self-isolation because of new social distancing policies during the growing COVID19 pandemic, professors are rejoicing that people are finally leaving them alone. “This is the best excuse ever to just hole up in my office and tell everyone to...

BOISE (RPT) – Forced to work from home in the midst of the COVID19 pandemic, many professors are exposing their families to incessant dad jokes that are threatening the sanity of their spouses and children. Both male and female professors have been subjecting their partners and children to these...

NEW YORK (RPT) – Universities have been forced to cancel on-campus interviews with prospective graduate students, leading admission committees to adopt new criteria for deciding which students should be accepted to prominent graduate programs. High-profile institutions have begun adopting the ABC...

RHODE ISLAND (RPT) - Professors around the country have been lamenting the constant flow of emails that has continued unmitigated, even as the apocalypse is going on around them. “It’s the goddamn apocalypse! Can’t I get a break from email for just one day?” one professor at a prominent...

LOS ANGELES (RPT) - As universities around the country use an abundance of caution in their strategies for dealing with the growing COVID19 pandemic, they are leaving businesses and members of the general public facing a severe shortage of caution. “They’re hoarding all the caution for themselves...