NEW YORK (RPT) – A recent meta-analysis of research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that 98% of studies with either cute results or a particularly catchy title failed to replicate. The researchers defined “cute” as any set of results that make you go, “Aww…” or “Won’t you look at that!” without making any meaningful contribution to science. The researchers noted that even after numerous failed replications, cute studies continue to be published at an alarming rate.

A representative of the journal offered his explanation for why cute studies were published so frequently: “Well, it’s just like Blues Traveler said, ‘The hook brings you back.’ And you know, you should never put the cart before the horse or put lipstick on a pig after Lent.”

Despite the troubling results of the meta-analysis, the primary researcher who conducted the study decided not to seek publication of her findings. When asked about why she chose not to publish her critique of cute studies, she replied, “Goochie, goochie, goo! I’m gonna’ get you!”