SALT LAKE CITY (RPT) - An Anthropology professor who studies the phenomenon of sympathetic pregnancy has reported that he has symptoms consistent with a diagnosis of COUVADE-19, including weight gain, food cravings, mood swings and reduced libido. “Ever since my wife got pregnant in late 2019, I just haven’t been the same,” he told RPT.
Couvade is a controversial diagnosis, as not all people agree that it is a real condition; and among those who say that it is real, many point out that symptoms are not serious for the majority of the population and that many more people get pregnant than get sick with couvade. “Before it actually happened to me I was skeptical about whether couvade was for real and whether it was something we should be worried about at all,” the Anthropologist commented. “My friend claimed he had it, but I just told him to stop watching Lifetime and that it was all in his head. But now that I have COUVADE-19, there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s for real. I just can’t stop eating those little mini snickers bars. They are so fucking good.”
Some have claimed that COUVADE-19 is part of a conspiracy to establish a domestic lock-down and keep husbands from cheating. RPT asked the wife of the Anthropologist, who is currently a graduate student in Anthropology at another university, about her husband’s COUVADE-19 diagnosis. “He really has nothing to make a fuss about,” she told RPT, “the baby isn’t even his. Now let me get back to work on my dissertation on cuckoldry.”